Bucks Advent Calendar: Saturday 23 December – Your course Christmas crackers!
News
Date: 23rd Dec 2017
The largest Christmas cracker in the world measured 207 foot (63.1m) long and 13 foot (4m) in diameter and was made right here in Buckinghamshire!
The mammoth festive favourite was made by the parents of children at Ley Hill School and Pre-School, Chesham, on December 20, 2001.
But let’s be honest – after the gift – the cracker jokes are the best bit. Staff in University Communications tried to create a list of some course-related cracker jokes for you to enjoy (or roll your eyes at).
- Accounting and Finance BSc (Hons)
If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches? - Air Transport, Airline and Airport Management BA (Hons)
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate - Audio and music courses
Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks - Business and Finance BA (Hons)
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered! - Business courses
What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack - Criminological Psychology BSc (Hons)
What’s round and bad tempered? A vicious circle - Events management courses
Where do elves go to dance? Snow Balls - Fashion Design BA (Hons)
What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season
- Film and TV Production BA (Hons)
What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show - International Tourism Management BA (Hons)
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer - Marketing BA (Hons)
Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer - Music courses
How do you ruin Stormzy's Christmas? Criticise his wrapping - Performing Arts (Film, TV and Stage) BA (Hons)
Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elf-is Presley - Nursing courses
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf - Operating Department Practice DipHE
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger - Police Studies with Criminal Investigation BSc (Hons)
What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days - Criminological Psychology BSc (Hons)
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues - Psychology BSc (Hons)
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia - Sport and Exercise Science BSc (Hons)
What does Santa do with overweight elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm - Sports Development and Coaching BA (Hons)
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette - Sports Therapy BSc (Hons)
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with - Strength and Conditioning BSc (Hons)
What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper - Textiles and Surface Design BA (Hons)
Why are Christmas trees bad knitters? They keep losing their needles
